{"id":571,"date":"2011-05-14T04:24:00","date_gmt":"2011-05-14T04:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/2011\/05\/how-to-deal-with-your-monthly-transformation-in-5-easy-steps\/"},"modified":"2015-02-21T10:42:13","modified_gmt":"2015-02-21T18:42:13","slug":"how-to-deal-with-your-monthly-transformation-in-5-easy-steps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/2011\/05\/how-to-deal-with-your-monthly-transformation-in-5-easy-steps\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Deal With Your Monthly Transformation In 5 Easy Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"

So you\u2019ve been watching the calendar all month and you\u2019ve looked up to realize that the dreaded day has arrived. You\u2019re already starting to feel it and you know you\u2019ve been a little grumpier and, let\u2019s face it, people are starting to avoid you. It\u2019s time for your monthly visit from the rabid man-eating beast within.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nSo how do you deal with it? You can\u2019t change who you are, it\u2019s just biology. But you know that whenever you\u2019re really left to your own devices you\u2019re going to go and scalp the nearest mouth-breather to dare offend you. How do you keep yourself from carrying out righteous vigilante justice against the masses during this, the worst time of your month?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

1. Don\u2019t drink<\/span><\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\n\u201cBut I\u2019m a happy drunk!\u201d You say, \u201cIt can only improve my mood\u201d<\/p>\n

Wrong.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re a happy drunk on every other time of the month, but at this time of the month you\u2019re just adding jet fuel to a bonfire. Why? It\u2019s not because you\u2019re personally unstable. Though, admit it, right now, you really are. No, let\u2019s remember for a moment just who it is you\u2019re dealing with at a time like this:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nYeah, hooting, hollering, throwing shit around and screaming like maniacs: these are your fellow drinkers. Even if you go to a liquor store you\u2019re going to run into one of them. Maybe you don\u2019t mind them most of the time, but you add the right amount of rage and you\u2019re going to remember what these guys are really good for. After all, they\u2019re inebriated and have a higher threshold for pain and stupid ideas. If you were to join them, there\u2019s only one conclusion to draw from it.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

2. Avoid crowds<\/span><\/h2>\n

So drinking might be a bad idea, unless you really want to start a scene and possibly maim someone. Though, if that was your goal then you\u2019d be free to go ahead and make a go at it right now. But it isn\u2019t, so you\u2019re left wondering just what you do with your free time. You could always just take up something like aerobics or go shopping, right?<\/p>\n

Wrong.<\/p>\n

Remember those people at the bar and how irrational and insane they can be? Truth is, it\u2019s not the alcohol, people are just dicks. Think about it for a moment and consider the last time you went to a good sale.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\n\u201cOh right, you pack a bunch of people into a group and they instantly become complete raving morons.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nSo in the end, you may want to consider doing things in a peaceful, private environment.<\/p>\n

3. Treat yourself<\/span><\/h2>\n

You\u2019re feeling cranky, you\u2019re starting to swell, your nails are growing out of control and you have a severe lust for blood. Your hair\u2019s out of control to boot, making it all the worse when you\u2019re really feeling self-conscious about everything already.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nSo what\u2019re you to do? Obviously, it\u2019s time to make yourself feel good about you. It\u2019s time for a trip to the spa!<\/p>\n

Think about it, those wild, crazy nails that you\u2019re starting to grow could be easily dealt with in a manicure and pedicure. Maybe that hair could be styled or at the very least washed. And you could spend a great deal of time taking care of you. Everyone likes to get pet and pampered, so why not you?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nAfter all, it’s called nervous<\/span> energy. So the best bet is to calm those nerves.<\/p>\n

But, hey, let’s say that doesn’t work for you either. Let’s say that it’s not nervous energy so much as it is “chew his face off” energy. Well then what can you do about that?<\/p>\n

4. Find an outlet<\/span><\/h2>\n

So you feel a little better after a visit to the spa, but there\u2019s still some energy that you just can\u2019t get out of your system. That inner aggression that\u2019s making you want to peel off some dumb fool\u2019s face is just building and society frowns on that kind of thing. You need to get it out of your system, fast. But what\u2019re you to do? You\u2019re a seething pot of biologically fueled rage and there\u2019s nothing that civilized people will let you do to get it out aside from possibly cage fighting.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>But it doesn\u2019t have to be something aggressive, just something to get your heart pumping. Maybe you could take a jog, start a private work out routine, go hiking or mountain climbing. Hell, you could even play fetch at the dog park provided you\u2019re calm enough to deal with being around other people in small doses.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\nThe important thing is to get up, get active and do something that doesn\u2019t involve causing grave bodily harm.<\/p>\n

Still, there’s some chance that this wont be enough. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. Sometimes you just have to…<\/p>\n

5. Embrace it!<\/span><\/h2>\n

At the end of the day, maybe none of this helped. Let\u2019s face it, being a Werewolf is hard. But it\u2019s also something to be enjoyed. After all, you\u2019re faster, stronger and more focused than you have been the rest of the month. You could get activities out of the way that you\u2019ve been aching to do but didn\u2019t think you could get it done in a reasonable length of time. You\u2019re not doing anything else right now anyway so why not take advantage of this time to work out some issues?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Plus, in today\u2019s society, a lot of people are more understanding than they used to be. So long as you don\u2019t do anything too crazy you\u2019re going to be a-ok. Society\u2019s more forgiving of your outlandish behavior because everyone knows what you\u2019re going through. And, hey, even if they didn\u2019t, who\u2019s going to stop you?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/object><\/p>\n

And if none of that works, just curl up with a good book<\/a> (or two<\/a>!)<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So you\u2019ve been watching the calendar all month and you\u2019ve looked up to realize that the dreaded day has arrived. You\u2019re already starting to feel it and you know you\u2019ve been a little grumpier and, let\u2019s face it, people are starting to avoid you. It\u2019s time for your monthly visit from the rabid man-eating beast … Continue reading How To Deal With Your Monthly Transformation In 5 Easy Steps<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2525,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[12,32,26],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=571"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2524,"href":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571\/revisions\/2524"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2525"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/jeremyvarner.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}