With one set of holidays behind us and a couple on the horizon, we’re in the midst of what I would consider the Hallmark movie season. Though not all are strictly “Hallmark” movies, it is the time of year where a great deal of made for TV movies with similar themes flood networks that honestly have nothing better to show – particularly those aimed at “family”. These movies are easily identified by the fact they all have the same earmarks. First, they’re centered on a holiday or an event that happens to be family oriented. Second, their central plot (often the only plot) is generally based around that family dynamic one way or another. And third, the cast seems to have been slipped something before the cameras started rolling.
It’s never the cast’s fault, mind you – it’s just the way of the genre almost by default. Made cheaply and probably written on the back of literal Hallmark cards, these movies are the tried and true made for TV garbage that you watch only because you have nothing better to do. That’s not to say there isn’t an audience, there most certainly is, but most of that audience is either bored, lonely, or both. The few who don’t fill these requirements generally fit into the archetype that the characters themselves are based on. And even if you like some of them, you know, deep down, that they’re not exactly works of art. The scenarios rarely make sense, the characters are about as two dimensional as a greeting card, and any emotional weight is based primarily in how soft a target you happen to be.
And almost all of us know this. Though a few are fond of a couple of these, and others might have a straight up guilty pleasure of the bunch, we all know we’d rather be doing something else if we had the choice. An entire channel is devoted to these movies, and few would willingly watch it, but a dedicated, nostalgia driven fanbase keeps the thing afloat. Once, when about to watch one of these movies, my friend – an avid romance fan – asked me why I was looking to torture myself. Simply put: I was morbidly curious.
So, it raises a question: how can a business based entirely on human emotions have so little a grasp on how those emotions actually work (and how do we avoid the same mistakes)?
The most obvious cause for these things to be so lackluster and bland would be that you get what you pay for. Being the film equivalent of shovelware, these movies are really only meant to fill space and hit a specific emotion or idea that fits the network and/or season. Is it Christmas? Let’s make a really bland, unoffensive Christmas movie that’ll play in the background while people are chugging eggnog. Is it Valentines? Let’s make a cheap romance story that will be watched by people who have nothing better to do that day. Just don’t spend too much because these people are easy pickings. It seems to be the most obvious motive, and other places have certainly demonstrated that a lack of budget can still churn out some glorious pieces of crap.
But low budget movies need not necessarily be unoriginal, in fact it tends to go the other direction. Most low budget movies were made on the budget they have because no one else was willing to risk the money necessary to make it properly. You don’t look at Sharknado and think it was boring and cookie cutter – you just know it was done with the same sort of budget and concern for humanity as a North Korean space program. Budget movies tend to be the unique, ugly little step children of the film industry that still have some sort of charm (sometimes falling into the range of “so bad, it’s good”). In fact, some budget movies, despite their budget, even turn out to be genuinely good enough to be recognized for their efforts. Kevin Smith’s entire career started off of something he funded out of pocket.
Hallmark movies, on the other hand, are polished, clean and even downright photogenic. Any still image from one of these movies would be seen as nothing but professional and well produced, and in fact, sometimes they may even appear overproduced. The problem with these films doesn’t show up until you get to the actual speaking and acting parts of the production. Regardless of how talented or experienced the cast may be, they inevitably come off feeling stiff and unrealistic, more like androids pretending to be people than actual people. They appear to be working through the motions, following beats, to the point that you can feel the artificial nature most of the time. If the movie is based around romance you’ll usually find the leads have almost no chemistry at all, or if they do it is entirely despite what they’re actually saying. And these two aspects – the high polish but low emotional content – though standing at opposite ends of the spectrum, stem from the same root cause: a focus on those “hallmark moments”.
When writing any story you’ll usually start with the overall arcs of that story. In the genres that these TV movies are trying to mimic there could be plots such as star-crossed lovers, trying to find the one that got away, or rekindling love in a relationship where the passion long ago faded. For each of these arcs you may find additional smaller arcs, individual character arcs may not necessarily move in perfect parallel with the plot arc – instead focusing on the character’s personal journey instead. Maybe the thing getting in the way of the relationship is a dark secret or a career. In either of these cases, the character arcs have to be moved along to progress the plot. Along the way there will be scenes, of course, which give these different arcs that progression. However, sometimes, when the scenes are just right, often where the arcs intersect, you’ll have a “moment” – a memorable piece of the story where all of the pieces are just right and really leave an impression on the viewer.
Moments are great and almost everyone wants to create them. They can become breathtaking, iconic, or deeply emotional. Often they’ll even be anticipated, the audience excitedly waiting for them. On more than one occasion, regardless of the genre at hand, I’ve heard one of my friends express her anticipation for characters to kiss. This is a moment for her, a thing that she eagerly waits for. Meanwhile, another dear friend will generally wait for when a character is about to die. As the internet often says: “there are two kinds of people”.
But these moments are never created independently of the arcs, they’re born from it as the arcs naturally progress. When things are just right you find the scenes are building towards something, a natural progression of the elements that are pushing towards that moment they’ll eventually create. The man who’s been plotting his escape for decades finally digs his way out of the prison. The hero makes a great sacrifice to save a train full of passengers at the cost of his own body. The girl who lost her family to Kaiju is finally given a chance to fight back. A woman reunites with her estranged father in the midst of a great disaster. The ragtag band of rebel misfits make a dangerous, near suicidal list ditch run at a superior force, narrowly snatching victory from the jaws of defeat.
These are natural byproducts of the story, an event that results from everything to come before them in one way or another. And for most of these, as I mentioned them just now, you can picture the story and the image that I was talking about and why that moment meant so much. In fact, for some of them you can picture several. And when done right, these moments become something you never forget, and the events that led up to those moments are just as memorable as a result. Despite the fact these moments are the most impressive they form a gestalt with all the scenes leading up to them, they have no meaning without the rest of their story. The same is true of all forms of storytelling including novels, television, and even video games.
But that’s not how Hallmark movies are approached. What you get instead is a story approached from the moments first, the snapshots that they want you to remember, and begin to try to build backwards from there. You can see where these movies are going not because the plot is leading there but because you know that’s what’s supposed to happen. And every scene in between is generally built to be a moment itself. There is no gradual build to a great climax. Instead, what you get is a series of snapshots and feelings being strung together by otherwise pointless (but picture-perfect) filler in between.
The result is that the scenes between these “moments” are usually just there to transition from Moment A to Moment B. And the characters, as a result, are generally two dimensional caricatures designed to get you towards that picturesque moment as well. It becomes a mechanical procession of beats towards a contrived outcome. All other things involved in the story become mechanical by relation. No character’s actions can move against the flow because all actions are designed specifically for that flow. And characters outside of the main cast are even worse, generally there to simply provide exposition with little purpose.
And because all of these moments are clearly artificial and the scenes strung between them are obvious transitions, none of it feels natural. The characters can’t feel real when they’re so clearly on rails, more akin to animatronics with dialogue that was clearly programmed into them and actions they have no choice but to take. Inevitably, the story loses any emotional weight because you aren’t getting to that emotion of your own accord (at least, sober). Instead, you’re being shown something that is supposed to impact you, but has little more substance than if the same picture were published on the greeting cards that inspired them. They try to program you in the same way they program their characters and it rarely works.
But the point of this post is about more than my opinion of the genre. This is important beyond simply saying that I don’t like Hallmark movies because it’s a problem that can enter any genre. A great example is the work of Zack Snyder, the man responsible for the bulk of the DCEU right now. I recently came across an analysis of the problems in his movies which echoed my own sentiments far too well. Zack is known by many to be a man great with visuals, but often his films completely lack anything resembling emotional depth. Generally they’re a sequence of memorable iconography with little substance in between. Like the Hallmark movies, Zack’s movies are built around moments rather than a story, and it generally shows.
Sadly, it’s just far too easy for a writer to begin to make these mistakes in their own work. The moments that we picture in our minds can begin to override our actual stories and both become weaker as a result. Our eagerness to chase that perfect moment can cause us to neglect the build towards it. We stop caring about character motives, or why a scene is important, and we may even stop confirming any of it makes sense. And repeating these sorts of mistakes, regardless of genre, will ensure that those moments…
Become memorable for all the wrong reasons.
(I write novels. There are some moments in them, I hope. I’m also on twitter, where every 140 characters is a moment unto itself.)
92 thoughts on “Why “Hallmark” Movies Suck”
Great article! I couldn’t agree more.
I sure feel sorry for you
Hallmark is the ONLY channel worth watching!
Keeps your attention
One man’s Nirvana is another man’s Inferno.
Hallmark is the only channel you find worth watching, which is fine. Just don’t feel sorry for people who don’t share the same view, especially if they are happy with their own view.
Thought provoking? It’s about as thought provoking as a stroke. Are you that delusional?
Great Answer….As soon as the movie starts you know everything that’s going to happen , So What is the purpose in watching, Its just like a Re run but only in a different town…….
Used to like Hallmark. ut. ow they are the same themeover and over again. Always a snowball fight a parade or town fair, etc. After 2 minutes you can predict the movie. mIght want to-get some new writers. The old reruns on Lifetime are better than the new Hallmark.
No, he’s not delusional; he’s just expressing his opinion!
Well hopefully the channel follows you in a few years and dies.
I watch Hallmark because I have grown so tired of so much “dark” television. I like something positive and “light” to watch and Hallmark provides it. That is not to say it cannot be improved. (1) Too vanilla in every sense of the word. How about some diversity in casting that reflects life in the USA? (2) Storylines ARE bland. There is no reason there can’t be more humor or great sorrows that can be overcome where characters can grow. And not every girl gets the guy or vice versa but they can learn once in a while that all they need is themselves and a man/woman isn’t going to give them a fairy tale ending. Only the main character can. Just sayin’. (3) Why are practically all the women above average in looks with a body type that can wear those cute clothes they are trying to sell to consumers? And why are the men such dorks? Some are cute but again, why not an assortment of people that can be believable? (ex. The Good Witch) (4) I think the biggest problem with Hallmark is that the characters are not very well developed. They are stereotypical with no surprises. Hallmark is a great idea and something much needed in these depressing times but they need to spend some of their money on better writers with better – deeper – stories. hallmark is fluff which is fine for some people but some of us need more.
Thank you! Diversity …yes! Too vanilla – does not reflect accurately reflect the demographic of the country …or is watchers …and all the movies have the same recurring theme: Big cities are bad …move to a small town.
These movies are designed to be watched by white women. Diversity is death anyway and destroys social cohesion. How many black women do you know that watch the Hallmark Channel?? I think the Hallmark Channel is cancer but I don’t blame them for casting wypipo since it’s watched by FUCKING white woman. This is why star wars suck now. Forced diversity and inclusion . LOL!
How about, no? Hallmark’s fine the way it is.
What do you propose? Women in hijabs?
I’m sure that’s what they want since there’s an all out war on white people. It’s reverse racism for sure. I hate the Hallmark channel but the demographic that watches this cotton candy garbage is white women. For the record, I’ve seen shows advertised that feature black people as the stars so I don’t know what the fuck they’re bitching about.
Strawman much? Do you seriously think diversity is a light switch between only “uniform cast whiter than ’50s Sears underwear models” and “women in hijabs”?
Having a random assortment of different-looking leads from different backgrounds and different location settings isn’t so radical or difficult.
@More2thepoint I find it hilarious that a grown adult’s argument is “I see the occasional black character-focused thing so people who want diversity are bitching about nothing”.
You do realize that “white” isn’t the default human setting, right? And that it only looks like a “war on white people” because you’re used to seeing almost 100% white casts so any increase in variety looks like an attack? Having one movie with token non-white leads is just something Hallmark can point at and say “well TECHNICALLY they’re not ALL white see here’s one black person”, without making a continuous effort to tell stories about more than one variety of human. Even if the stories are marketed towards white women, how many would refuse to watch something just because the main characters didn’t match their own race?
Also “~forced diversity~” isn’t the magic curse that made recent Star Wars movies bad, it’s that they didn’t go further than just plunking in a new character to check off a box. If you actually develop a new character of a different race/background and give them a deep story and personality, then the movie can be just as great.
I find the Hallmark Christmas shows more depressing cause for lonely single people like my self, it’s always the same. Most of the time it’s a very beautiful attractive single girl who is more stuck on her career office management job or something like that, or she’s dating this really good looking executive guy and she ends up meeting this really nice guy who usually is a single Dad with this really sweet daughter and in the end she realizes what she has been missing all along is true love with a really handsome sensitive gentleman and they all live happily ever after…. yea I can really relate to shows like this… cause stuff like this happens to me ALL the time…
Yup, that’s why I watch them too.
Some of these comments are scary you want good romance you can watch golden time and it does not have much bad stuff in it
Enjoy your bubble.
You need help. And you need to watch real deal good movies. Hallmark movies are god awful.
Same HALLMARK IS BABE!!
The actors hired by Hallmark obviously can’t make it in the real acting profession. None of them will ever win an Emmy or an Oscar. These actors will leap of take any role in a sugary sweet vanilla Hallmark film. I got one would prefer to watch grass grow.
Hallmark used to keep to a higher standard. When you heard Hallmark, it meant quality. Now, the movies are, if a lollipop drops on the sidewalk, it’s a Hallmark Christmas movie….A Lollipop Christmas….who is writing this garbage? There are no real stories, no quality interaction, just pretend feel good garbage. No thought content like the good days of Christmas in Canaan, Christmas Comes Home to Canaan, The Last Brickmaker, A Christmas Visitor….etc., I think Hallmark is in it for the bucks now. What happened to the good writers of the 90s and 2000s? And I don’t say that lightly, because I’ve given every Hallmark Christmas movie a chance, but have to turn the channel to Lifetime (whose stories are a little better) because it’s such bad writing, bad stories, bad everything. Drop the singing stories and the bakery going out of business stories…my goodness, a 5 year old could come up with better stories than those! Hallmark used to mean quality, now it’s quantity sans quality. I’d take five good movies per year over 75 really crappy ones.
I miss the movies that actually have substance. My favorite being , What the Deaf Man Heard.”
“Growing the Big One” is a romance that is entertaining and includes more than one plot.
Front of the Class is important because it is directly relatable to a friend and her son.
Someone, please, break this monotony…
I agree completely. I could add several more to the list that have depth, real life, romance, and good acting. Why do you think the base of people who made you popular are only silly, shallow, adults? The songs too wordy, when the story could really inform and the actors are tossed around like they must do many of these immature parts to keep a contract. Don’’t ignore your reputation and past watchers……bring back some really good stories that might help younger people to face life and succeed . It would be a joy to thing you really noticedl
Don’t change what isn’t broken. Many of us love the movies. Don’t like them? Change the channel to the same boring, sick twisted movies, that are on HBO, etc….
I agree with Brittany.
If any of the movies this year are in your “quality” category, you don’t know the meaning of quality. There’s nothing else to say. And I used to love my Hallmark Christmas movies and Hallmark Hall of Fame movies. Now I just turn the channel.
Kevin Smith has a career ?
If you don’t like the movies on Hallmark, change the channel. Many of us are sick of the ghastly movies Hollywood makes. It’s a nice change to see family oriented movies where you don’t feel like you have to leave the room because of some embarrassing scene. Thank you Hallmark!
I would rather be waterboarded than to watch the Hallmark Christmas or whatever marathon. The cringey cheesy dialogue is vomit inducing. Everyone is physically perfect with perfect skin, teeth, hair and jawlines. Hell hath another name and it is Hallmark.
With so much ugly going on in this world it is so refreshing to watch the hallmark channel. These movies that you say suck they emphasize the family, From what I’ve seen it seems that the family values have disappeared. We have kids who have killed their parents, say vulgar words to their parents. So you say hallmark movies suck, I see in these movies, families who care for one another people who help each other though the difficult times. Even the children have respect for their parents & elders. To me this is what our society definitely needs. I sure wish that our society could learn something from these movies. By the way you don’t hear about human trafficking in these movies.
This article is spot on! Hallmark movies are the bane of my existence exspecially during holiday seasons. So barf worthy and so fake. I’m a women who loves movies from all genres but I absolutely cannot stand the these “so-called” movies the Hallmark channel churns out every holiday season. I can’t imagine how anyone who has any real sense of good taste, substance and quality could ever possibly stomach this crap. I’m actually very open minded and accepting when it comes to films and more often than not I will end up liking the movies that the critics don’t necessarily like or the ” under dog” movie BUT the Hallmark channel movies or so terrible I just can’t stomach them. Even the commercials for them make me nauseous! If I had to picture what a fan of these movies was like it would be middle to upper age women who are unhappy and probably somewhat delusional in their thinking. This may sound harsh and closed minded but I just couldn’t really take anyone who actually thinks these are good movies, seriously.
I totally agree Haylee, I cant stand watching the same story line over and over again , and with the same actors in different movies that were in love with someone else in another movie , Just ruins it for me , they need real life story lines , like older man younger women , or older women younger man , something that truly could be a love story , or a story line that doesn’t end with the couple being together , but still being very much in love . This would shaken it up a little bit , Oh and also , Christmas , as much as I love it , it is the most stressful month of the year for Me , I just refuse to watch it for 6 months , it ruins the holiday, One month is plenty.
“This may sound harsh and closed minded” Yup!
Hey, I’m that woman, and I used to love the Hallmark movies, but they are garbage now. Hallmark sold out to money, making as many as possible, no quality. And there are many good old Hallmark Christmas movies. But over the past four years, hardly any good ones, maybe A Dog Named Christmas and I’ll Be Home for Christmas….that’s about it….nothing like the good old days of A Christmas Visitor and Christmas in Canaan and Angel in the Family, Home by Christmas, the Christmas Card, the Road to Christmas (Jennifer Grey)…etc..bring back the good quality Christmas movies…not this garbage….but you probably liked the movie that was so gross, Because I said so, if you do, you don’t know quality.
I agree too and where the heck do they get some of these actors…
These movies suck so bad. During Golden Girls I cringe at their previews during commercial lol.
Don’t change what isn’t broken. Many of us love the movies. Don’t like them? Change the channel to the same boring, sick twisted movies, that are on HBO, etc….
I enjoy watching some of them as a temporary escape from our current political climate. Mindless and happy endings.
Every hallmark movie is basically the same, they all involve some girl meeting some guy an them getting together by the end of the movie, their movies have no variety what so ever
I agree. Same plot every time. I like some but the month long playing them over and over. I don’t even watch Hallmark channel throughout November and December. To much same OK same ol.
And yet Hallmark is love by millions!
Sissy … you are correct, But its millions of people that are bored and willing to settle for just something , and I would guess caregiver just put the Hallmark channel on and leave it there. There are millions of people that have caregivers , I would guess this is there base line audience.
All the hallmark movies follow the. The same story line it’s all about the girl going to marry but in the meantime she fi nds someone better. Like a romance novel
The whole theme that these movies are trying to stress is family, & people helping one another out. That’s why our society is because so many people out there Don’t Care about family values & helping each other out.
I am a filmmaker myself and what bothers me about these things is the lack of respect they show for the audience’s intelligence. Women may watch these movies but that doesn’t mean they are really as shallow and simple-minded as the plots suggest. Also, and Jack I’m sure you will back me up, it is possible to create a love story movie that appeals to both sexes. The original ‘Arthur’ with Dudley Moore is an example. Does it take more work? Yes. Does the story and the writing have to be better? Yes. But it can be done. You have to give a damn about your craft, though.
All hallmark movies are exactly the f^king same, their main plot is just some girl meeting some guy an them falling in love by the end of the film. All they do is just rinse an repeat that for everyone that they make an show.
I agree. Same plot every time. I like some but the month long playing them over and over. I don’t even watch Hallmark channel throughout November and December. To much same Ol same ol.
I actually like the regular season, but they definitely to to figure out some other plot’s
I adore that you wrote about these films. I’m an expert. I watch ever single Hallmark Christmas movie and have for years (although I admit to heavy fast-forwarding). First phenomenon: the not-quite pretty enough woman and the way-too-pretty guy (there’s no way he’s not gay). Second P: Christmas can only be experienced properly if a wedding is included preceded by the obligatory tree buying scene. Third P: Watch the sweater progression. As NQPE gal and WTP guy get closer they shed their business suits and wear more and more sweaters, a Christmas must. Fourth P: All women have jobs, be it offices or lodges or malls or estates. They rarely have a moment off and there has never, ever been a stay-at-home mom, although THERE SHOULD BE. This is the secret message of two of the greatest: Summer Glau as elf from the North Pole nanny, and Dean Cain as goofy lawyer hired by Santa to defend him in court against evil industrialist trying to cancel Christmas.
But all that is over now. A new regime has taken over this year. The movies are EXTREMELY boring this year. Deeply, deeply static and bland. The supernatural “Santa” elements have been purged out, sadly (is there a new “Christian” manager?) Even the Royal Theme (unknown date turns out to be Prince or Princess X of Y) has been purged this year. Only corporate drones allowed. Watching the HCMs is a direct line into what Roland Barthes called “The Doxa” the unwritten, unspoken code of Middle Class behavior which is rigorously policed by armies of rule followers drawn inexorably into the Hallmark magnetic field.
I looked it up, and you’re right, almost all of the leading men are played by gay men. I’m not a homophobe, I had a gay brother, whom I loved very much, but this makes me cringe. And yes, as far as the timeline goes, it’s all the exact same. They finally get the kiss at 3 minutes till. I am getting really sick of them. Don’t the writers have an ounce of imagination ???
Yeah, I’m sick of it too. If it’s a love story, we want a man playing the lead role, not a gay man….and it’s so obvious…..and what’s with those suits that are way too small for the men? It’s like the equivalent of the tight sweaters…..get over yourselves….who are the writers? Who reads that screenplay garbage and says, “yeah, let’s make it into a movie”. Those people should be fired before there is only teenyboppers left as their audience.
I told my wife I was tired of her binging on these “50 Shades of White” movies. She said it’s all so wholesome – how could I object? I said it’s girl porn. In every ending, every guy is the perfect guy, he has the flawless character, flawless morality, flawless body, flawless income, flawless everything to save the day for Miss Can-Never-Find-the-Right-Guy. It’s tiring for me watching her fulfill what dreams and wishes she gets fulfillment from through Hallmark, that apparently my efforts are not good enough to fulfill. So let’s start up the Markhall channel where the poor “can-never-find-the-right-girl” guy, always winds up with Miss Perfect-Hair, Face, Body & Personality who speaks and hangs on his arm only just frequently enough to be uber personality intriguing, and who hints only at just the right times how attracted she is to him and how his love, tenderness and rock solid constitution makes her feel like a complete woman. And then we’ll see how quickly all the wives tire of us men realizing new desires (that we hadn’t even thought of before) that our actual wives aren’t fulfilling, being adduced and fulfilled watching the mental porn Markhall channel. She didn’t have anything to say after that.
Markhall Channel, yeah I love the idea. Some randomly hard working guy about 5’6” with no distinguishing features at all, beside the fact he’s playing a role that he’s 10 years past realistically playing. Let’s not forget he’s wearing tons of pancake makeup and a body sculpter suit under two well fashioned layers of clothing to hide that middle age belly. He works long hours, he barely makes ends meat and has 2 perfect model children that definitely did not come from his loins.
Then comes Miss Perfect 5’10”, perky T&A, a mouth to die for, hair that make Miss America run to her dressing room to cry. Let’s not forget she has a trust fund, two successful businesses. Oh, and she’s only had one boyfriend, but he tragically died 2 years ago before they were even able to actually have sex.
All that perfectness just waiting for some 5’6” middle aged guy with two kids to make her life complete. I forgot to mention several times in the movie she shows up just barely dressed in a towel that just almost shows the goods, almost being the key for the Markhall Channel, because we want to keep the show wholesome.
Then we just change a few lines, keep the 5’6” guy, of course the next show we add another nearly perfect female to actually fight over this leading man. And just for fun we add another perfect angel to play a friend he can lean his head on her shoulder because he just can’t pick between these two goddesses. Don’t forget we will find some cheesy way to get these goddesses in a couple of scenes for no particular reason so they will be just almost showing the goods. Just almost. Wholesome god fearing male entertainment you can watch with your wife and family!
I thought I was the only one who thought this. Thanks for nailing it! Tired of the male lead always having to put up with the females idiosyncrasies and no matter what crap she dished out or how neurotic she is, he just smiles and takes it. Reminds me of Eddie Murphy’s standup bit:
Scene: Some country road out in the middle of nowhere.
Female: ( Acting out) Stop this car and let me out right now!
Male: (Keeps driving) Now, now now. We can’t have that.
Reality:Half these hallmark women make you want to pull over and say Get the f out with your self-absorbed, window shopping for the best deal, accept me for me, neurotic self. (Leaves her on the side of the road and lives happily ever after)
One of the best things about the hallmark movies is that you never hear them use any vulgar language like you dropping the F-bomb. That’s why our children also use that same vulgar language because of kids they hang out with or watching TV, or they hear their parent’s using that same vulgar language. Those hallmark movies are clean wholesome family movies. What’s wrong with clean wholesome family movies my church believes in that.
Hahahahahaha. Hallmark channel movies are awful. I watch sitcoms on the Hallmark channel and think there should be more of those. Hallmark channel should pay people for having to avoid their network when those brain-numbing 24/7 christmas movies and romance movies take over for WAYYYYYY too long. Judging by the low quality of these movies, Hallmark does not think very highly of the intellect and emotional depth of their target demographic.
^^All. Of. This!!^^
The movies all but 2 really suck and the play the same ones all the time. I’ve stopped watching this channels now. Bring back the great Christmas movies that was wonderful to watch. The 2017 Christmas ones really suck.
The movies used to be OK and I especially liked the Christmas movies and looked forward to the movies every year but the last couple of years the storyline is so boring and the actors look like they’re reading their lines… There’s no emotion or excitement in the in the dialogue or storyline anymore and I find that my mind just keeps wandering off in the middle of The movie and I have no idea what is really going on… In fact I am writing this in the middle of Falling for You… I have no idea what’s happening … have you noticed their voices are almost in a monotone ? It’s all very disappointing.
I’m a woman, and I HATE these movies!!!!! And I absolutely agree with everything you’ve written. (Although I’d rather watch “Batman Vs. Superman” on an endless loop than pretty much any Hallmark-or-its-ilk movie.)
Other issues I personally have with these films: Any non-white (or, even more rare, non-hetereosexual) character is only there as the spunky best pal, the “You love him/her, go for it!” bff with no life of his/her own.
Some of the characters are simply a**hats. Sorry, I’m not going to root for a jerk, even if they supposedly find redemption in the final act. Sorry, you’ve been a complete spoiled, nasty brat for an hour and 45 minutes, and suddenly you’re sorry and deserving of love and forgiveness? Nope! Not gonna happen!
And, yes, seeing experienced, talented actors doing drek. I’m an actor, I know it it works. Sometimes you just have to take whatever comes along. But it still breaks my heart.
OK, thanks for letting me get that out of my system.
Those who are bashing Hallmark are obviously not the target audience. And Hallmark won’t change to entice you to watch. They know their target audience and give them what they want. The programming you seem to desire is available on numerous networks whereas the cheesy, wholesome, formulaic, low budget movies that Hallmark offers are available on very few networks. That is why they are successful and the only top 15 non-news cable network to have double-digit growth. They would be stupid to change to try to entice viewers like you who still wouldn’t watch–at least not as loyally as their target audience. Pornography producers don’t make their stars “perform” under blankets to suit people who don’t like sex scenes and Hallmark shouldn’t change to appease viewers who want more “artistic” programming. At the end of a long, busy day, sometimes it’s nice to veg out with a glass of wine and a mindless movie playing in the background that you are only half paying attention to and still know exactly what’s happening. And as cheesy as these movies are, IMO they are still MUCH better than the garbage other networks term “reality” shows. All networks should not be the same because all viewers are not. (BTW, my husband refers to Lifetime as the bastard network and Hallmark as the whipped network. He says one network’s movies show what women think men are like–abusive, a**holes–and the other what they wish they were like–obedient puppies.)
Target audiences have nothing to do with actual true filmmaking and storytelling.
HahahahhaHHah. Wholesome does not mean boring, naive, and unimaginative. The only shows worth watching on Hallmark are the sitcoms.
It’s like everything else today in America. Subpar….Hallmark used to stand for quality…a great Hallmark movie used to mean something. Now it’s mostly garbage. Maybe out of 75 movies there may be 2 or 3 that were really good story lines. It’s like our couches that don’t last for 4 years, refrigerators that break after 4 years, washing machines that tear our clothes now and really don’t get them clean like they used to. I could go on and on and on….America is living the subpar nightmare including the subpar Hallmark movies that used to be the great movies…I miss my good Hallmark Christmas movies…they have been replaced with garbage that I guess most people are willing to accept. Not me!
Agree with you on Hallmark movies. I live in a household with people who LOVE them. Watching them would make a sentence in Purgatory preferable.
My wife watches these things, so I many times have to be in proximity. I can stomach about an entire five minutes, before I want to hurl groceries. The most banal, uncreative, simplistic, predictable pap I have ever witnessed in my entire 64 years. Also, there is exactly five minutes of program, and three minutes of commercials. These should simply be outlawed as a public nuisance. How can ANY production company LIVE with themselves making this stuff, is beyond my comprehension.
I actually, love them! Don’t really care what others think either!
Sorry but most movies and tv are trash many watch hallmark for the (stories)aspect also they arnt trying to appeal to those who don’t like wholesome stories but those that do this channel is a lot better than stupid holly weird
Movies that could care less what the viewer wants to see because all the major channels are run by money grubbing joozs and so is Hollywood I don’t want to sit and watch bunch of blood & gore and sex, sex, sex everywhere you turn. Just like most commercials are fast food so you will run out and buy their fake food ,sorry but it’s the truth. I have wanted to do my own shows but do not have the money like most poor ppl cannot . The fact of the matter is Hollywood
Sucks major and it’s constantly being shoved in their faces that’s why we have channels like hallmark it’s obviously for chicks like me,and family. Hollywood is full of pedos, and I don’t support pedos they don’t show anything I ever want to watch anyway … Peace!
I meant to say constantly being shoved in our faces typo.
No No is a prejudiced malcontent “…money grubbing joozs” .
It is no wonder she cannot …” do my own shows…”
“Hollywood is full of pesos…” is her excuse for lack of
work in an industry where she is not successful . Why would
anyone want to hire someone who is so angry and bitter.
she said “pedos” autocorrect did “pesos”.
Btw America won’t produce anything anyone would want to see, or actually,have an actual place where they produce the fantasy,drama
Genere, romance, historical fiction because unless you are rich and were able to do such a thing ,U would have to find a way to get some air space, and air time like hallmark does I have tons of ideas for a channel with morals, action and adventure many things the into that type of work. But it’s all good I will continue to watch my foreign dramas with eng subs since they won’t produce the stuff I like to watch right here in the U.S.
They used to have that stuff on Hallmark Channel in the early 2010s and before but now they don’t. Action and adventure with morals. How idiotic. Nothing but cliche, unrealistic romances that the creators keep on coming up with.
Never watched a Hallmark movie, and never will. Don’t need to, to know they are all the same. Thankfully, I don’t live with anyone who does watch these movies. It has always been my opinion that Hallmark Channel is where an actor’s career goes to die..lol
Why is everyone so hateful. If you don’t like them, don’t watch. There are so many channels offering revolting, gratuitous sex and violence to satisfy anyone’s grisly urges. Diversity? There are plenty of movies, etc. featuring black, gay, transgender, reality or whatever your want. Just turn the dang channel. There are many people who don’t mind a harmless diversion. The writing has deteriorated badly over the last year or so with each movie having a variation on the same theme. Move on and shut up.
Agree, just switch channels or turn whatever device you are watching on OFF. Thank you Wallmark for airing movies that you don’t have to turn down the volume or cover faces to watch. My suggestions to Hallmark (1) the increased drinking of all kind is disappointing- that takes away from what is suppose to be family watching; and (2) The representative that gave reasons for not having diversity of race representation, did more for turning viewers away than helping. So you might want to get someone that will not bring up hurtful thoughts of many groups of the past regarding inequality situations.
I love the Hallmark movies. I enjoy the fact that there’s no cursing, nude scenes, hate. Hallmark is about something this old world needs more of LOVE. And FYI, I’m an African American woman.
God bless you,and kindly keep you well & safe,my dear.This country,and the whole world Needs more people such as You.Kudos,and God bless.
Look, the Hallmark Channel’s target audience is sad, vapid, white women who are so unhappy with their lives that they can’t stand to watch anything with any emotional depth. Real emotion just makes them remember that the world isn’t like the sitcoms they grew up with and that their own lives haven’t lived up to the juvenile dreams they were sold as little girls. Hallmark movies are the opiates of these unfulfilled women. Because of these movies we can never watch The Golden Girls without DVRing they first so we can fast forward through any commercials. It really gives one a window into the lives of these types of women. Please just move The Golden Girls reruns to another channel so I can forget that this channel exists!
Why do you have to show the big Xmas bulb advertising the Thursday and Friday Xmas movies. It very distracting. Also why not show older Christmas movies instead of repeating the same Christmas movies over and over every week.
Nice, Jeremy. My mother watches these freaking things and I always make fun of them. xD
Lol at people defending these crappy movies in the comments. NO, people, we don’t hate them because they are “clean and wholesome”, we hate them because “the writing and acting is so terrible”. This isn’t rocket science. Also everything in these stupid movies is SO perfect that it’s almost creepy. Actually it IS creepy. Nobody acts like a human being in these. How can you not feel insulted? There’s plenty of wholesome family entertainment you can see outside of this lazy garbage channel.
This channel and HGTV are going to cause a 20 year marriage to go down the tubes
Embarrassing scripts, bad acting, cheesy production values, and zero emotional content.
I find them creepily synthetic — there seems to be some sort of quota the writers seem forced to adhere to — the actual word “Christmas” must be in almost every sentence the characters speak. “Hot chocolate” as well. It’s like some Orwellian form of brainwashing, lol.
you can say all you want negative about Hallmark but it is now 2020 and they are KILLING IT with Christmas! Merchandise, the whole package.
Sappy Crap. Life with all its problems is not like what Hallmark presents. Pure fantasy.
Watching Hallmark flicks is like popping saccharine tablets one by one by one until you puke. The holiday rubbish they start playing in the summertime is the limit. But why should I complain I don’t even watch the crappy channel anymore.
There is such a disparity in “values” between the Hallmark movies that are loved by the channel’s core audience and those found on The Golden Girls, the other stalwart of the Hallmark Channel!
Are these two different groups of people who are fans of each?
The absolutely worst thing about Hallmark Christmas Movies are the mothers of the leading actress and sometimes the mother’s boyfriends too. They all have sewn, repaired and tightened faces, it gives me pain all over just to watch. They look like Frankensteins monster. Another thing is the charity stuff. In one of those crap movies they even showed a scene where ‘the less fortunate’ sat at a table like monkeys in a zoo right in the middle of the tree-lightning event for others people shamelessly to watch (Hallmark won’t use the word ‘poor’ because that is to realistic). Hallmark Christmas movies are not just stupid, they are dangerous too. The make a false picture of life which makes people want things they can’t have ot need (like the environment-killing tasteless lightbulb decor all over christmastowns).
Why do all the child actors sound like thay talk with cotton in their mouths???? That is so disgusting. No child ever talked like that in my life. They talk clear and adult-like. Is it supposed to be cute??? IT IS NOT, it is terrible.
For a guy who doesn’t watch Hallmark Movies he sure thinks he’s an expert on Hallmark Movies. Funny. I watch all the time, but I’m so sick of them. Good looking guy ( gay in reality) actually falls for ultra Bitchy woman even though she’s rude and Bitchy half the show. The timing is predictable to the minute, the interrupted kiss, the jump to conclusion that breaks them up for 20 minutes, the get back together 3 minutes before the end of the show, etc. Still I watch because I’m lonely and old, and sometimes there’s just nothing g else worth watching .
I tried…I really tried…but it’s painful! Kind of like watching 1950s training films on “How to be the perfect housewife”:
Be sure to slap a lot of makeup on first thing in the morning, perfect the age-inappropriate banana-curl hairdo (preferably some level of blonde is involved), and wear the latest little outfits with ankle boots (whether or not you’re young enough or fit enough to pull off the look). Then bounce around with a blinding white veneered smile plastered on your face, and agree with whatever any male says…with a giggle.
And the guys in these shows? Most are good-looking, but there’s no chemistry, and you ladies who watch the drivel don’t stand a chance because 90% of the actors are as gay as are some of my dearest friends. Sorry to burst your bubbles.