A nymphomaniac with an impressive physique and a charming personality: you’ve hit the jackpot there. Dating a succubus or incubus is a wonderful little adventure that many fantasize about in the late hours of the night. Even modern media has shown the exciting life and times of our brothers and sisters of the night as shows like Lost Girl heavily feature the love life of their Succubus protagonist.

But everyone has heard the stories of people dying of heart attacks or being found the dried out husk on the shore with a smile on their face. Everyone has seen the old portraits of demonic entities sucking the life out of helpless victims in their bedrooms. So how do you keep yourself from becoming one of them?

First, Prepare Yourself Mentally

Dating someone like a Succubus can be overwhelming at first. Whatever parties you’ve been to have likely been at the limit of what you can handle. But given the relatively long lives of most Alters, Succubi have had enough time to become bored of the typical forms of debauchery. Though they may still do things that you would normally do out of nostalgia or routine, it is not out of the question to find that a Succubus will begin to fantasize about doing more. This can be shocking and difficult to not react in horror at first. After all, the typical succubus or incubus sex toy collection can be eclectic.

Some of these may require research

However, it is possible to prepare for your time with these creatures by becoming mentally prepared for the things you may encounter with them. First, it is important to become familiar with your personal desires and limits. You cannot afford to lose control of your limits while dealing with someone who rarely has many of their own. Time spent at orgies, with swingers, or raves will give you a taste of what to expect for your first date.

Once you’ve had time to get an understanding of your own limits and what you are okay with, you will need to also become familiar with what you are not okay with. Though it may be unpleasant, you may wish to do things you are not immediately comfortable with in order to know if you can, in fact, come to appreciate them. It is not recommended that your first experience with anal insertion, for instance, is performed by a succubus.

Next, Prepare Yourself Physically

If you’ve been selected by a Succubus or Incubus to be their next potential partner, it’s clear that you’re likely in shape. Few Succubi or Incubi deal with people they believe cannot physically meet their requirements. However, it is important that you prepare for the physical nature of what is about to befall you.

First, you must begin an exercise regiment in order to bring yourself closer to the fitness level that you need to deal with these people once they have assessed you closer. The first instinct is to typically work towards better appearance through tone and weight training. However, this is a failing of human nature and rarely enters into the mental calculation for finding a suitable partner. More importantly, these creatures require someone who have the ability to keep up with them for a long period of time. This is not a sprint, this is a marathon, and you should train accordingly.

Second, flexibility is an asset when dealing with people who have had time to become familiar with more extreme sexual practices. If you cannot get your leg behind your head or touch the back of your head with your toes, you may not be prepared for your date just yet. It’s recommended that you sign up for Yoga classes at the very least and communicate with your partner just how far you’ve gotten in your lessons. Though Succubi and Incubi rarely cause intentional harm to humans, accidents can happen and have had lasting effects.

Though many still live full lives after practice

Third, despite all preparation, you must be familiar with your physical limits as well as your emotional limits. It is instinct to try to keep up with your partner early on. This is a mistake that should not be allowed to happen. Not only do Succubi and Incubi have a natural physical superiority to you in a rested state, they have evolved, much like many natural predators, specifically for this form of prey. You would not try to out-swim a shark and it is best to remember this before you lose your head.

PG-13 Approximation

Then, Prepare Supplies

Much like an earthquake survival kit, once the earth starts moving you may need some key supplies including bottle water, batteries and rope. These are the absolute necessities for a successful outing. It is possible to make some substitutions depending on your needs but these substitutions must be carefully planned out and not done on a whim. First, if you are going to bring something other than water, do not bring alcohol. Alcohol can make dehydration worse and will only encourage them when you’re already weakened.

Once you have the essentials you can bring others that may be useful such as lubricant, handcuffs and a body pillow. Also recommended is to practice safe sex by bringing protection such as a helmet, knee-pads and ice-packs. These are not entirely necessary but have been stated after experiments by many people to be beneficial to your well-being and enjoyment.

jaw protection is sometimes important

Finally, Enjoy!

With these simple steps you should be ready for the ordeal that is dating one of these creatures of the night. Though these steps may sound like something that would ruin the fun, it is important to remember that, while you my have died with a smile, dying is still not good for a long-term relationship.

Also, as a final tip, though you may feel that you have found true love, there is very little reason for the Succubus or Incubus to maintain a monogamous relationship with you. Though they may enjoy their time with you and you may even be their favorite, like many things such as a favorite food, having too much of it can ruin the enjoyment. After all…

You’re competing with a lot.

(If you can’t find a Succubus or Incubus to entertain you for the weekend, you may want to curl up with a good book. How about mine? There are a couple succubi and incubi in them, poor substitution that may be.)