Some months ago, a group of people several thousand strong gathered together and began to play a game of Pokemon in the most inefficient way possible: by all playing the same game at once. Twitch Plays Pokemon was a thing for a while as the group did their damn best to control a child who they’d decided had a schizophrenic mental episode and was following the commands of every voice in his head. But along the way, one thing to come out of it was a religious satire in the nature of “Lord Helix” the helix fossil they frequently went to for advice, and his only begotten Pidgeot, Abba, the Bird Jesus, who followed the philosophy of “do unto others” over and over through literal interpretation by reflecting attacks right back at his enemies.

But this was not the first bird variation of Jesus to roam the internet. For the first, you’d have to go to the time when the internet discovered the ancient legends of Horus, a child born to a (technical) virgin mother and had to be hidden away from the king of the land to prevent his death. He wandered the desert, undertook great tests and became the king of kings, the savior of Egypt.

Only the truth is, Jesus’ story is a straightforward affair with few twists and turns: he was born of a virgin, had miraculous powers and was eventually betrayed. Horus’ story is a bit more… insane. And because of that, I intend to recount: Continue reading So about Horus… →