WTF Wednesday: Fighting Over Christmas

For too many years, there has been a narrative that there was some sort of culture war going on around Christmas. Certain talking heads, particularly the loud and uninformed ones, have spent a great deal of time trying to make it seem like anyone who doesn’t agree with them is trying to destroy the very foundations of society every time the Christmas season rolls around. But, let’s be honest, that’s not particularly new.

What is new is that we’re finding more ridiculous ways of being offended about every little thing that happens to roll around. It used to be that you could just show some good will towards each other this time of year and no one would give you crap. Yet, as we enter the age of information (and misinformation), things have become controversial that used to be perfectly fine. For instance, since when did “Happy Holidays” become an insult? What about “Seasons Greetings”?  Why are we pissed off if someone takes Festivus literally? Why do I have to celebrate your holiday, your way, when I don’t share your faith?

Can’t we all just…

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History of the Holidays: Christmas

As it is a Monday, and I’ve recently established a theme for the day, I feel it’s time to once again tackle the world of Mythology, specifically continuing my tour of world mythologies. But, seeing also that it’s the Christmas season, I felt the urge to do something a bit festive. So, with the mission statement of trying to expand my mythological horizons, I went looking for unusual or unique myths from around the world tied into this time of the year. What I found, though, was that there was one figure known all over the world which had origins so complex that, even though people know of him almost everywhere, most don’t have the slightest clue how complex he is.

Who could it be? This fat jolly bastard.

santa

Because what we’ve got here is a fusion of figures so distinct from each other that the end product looks like all of them and none of them at the same time. Basically, he’s a holiday smoothie. And so, for the first time, Alternative Mythologies will look towards Europe and dig deeper into the figure we know as…

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The Adventures of Varner II

You’ve exited a long tunnel and found yourself in a place with somewhat dusty air under a colorful yet unnerving sky. There’s a faint scent of moisture, but no sign of rain, almost like the Earth itself is sweating. A walnut tree stands in front of you – a strange one that doesn’t seem completely natural. The longer you stare at it, the stranger the sky becomes. Is that a T-Rex skull trying to eat the sun or are you tripping balls?

No time to think about that, the tunnel has closed behind you and you’ve realized you have jack all in your pockets except some old movie ticket stubs, lint, a fist full of Mexican Pesos, and that “special” brownie you were saving for Christmas. You need to figure out what to do next.

>EAT BROWNIE|

That wasn’t exactly helpful, and now you have no choice but to sit and wait for your legs to exist again. In the meantime, you’ve decided to pass the time by reading a blog post you just found on the ground. You can’t quite figure out why there’s a blog out in the middle of nowhere but it probably has something to do with the brownie… Continue reading The Adventures of Varner II