Category Archives: FICTION

Agent of Argyre, Alterpedia, FICTION

Alterpedia: Selkies

In the Alters’ World (and the series of books found here), creatures of legend reveal themselves to the world. Born through genetic abnormalities, defects and mutations, the Alters have lived for centuries as outcasts of human society, hiding their true nature from the world while colorful stories have been written by many to describe what they’ve seen. How are these creatures different from what was described in the stories? What relationship do they have with humanity? Every entry of the Alterpedia will delve into a new creature from around the world. This week we cover:

Selkies

Though not as well known as their Merfolk cousins, the Selkies, seals that may take human form, are prevalent in the area surrounding the British Isles. Though identified as shape-shifters by some, they’re really masters of disguise and are known to simply remove their seal skins as they walk onto the beach. And, despite being a seductive sea creature like some others, the Selkie is often not harmful to humans, rather often being taken as husbands, wives, or amusing zoo attractions.
So are all of the seals really people in disguise? Or is this myth trumped up to explain the adorably talented trained seals we’ve all come to know and love? Let’s take a look.

Continue reading Alterpedia: Selkies →

Agent of Argyre, FICTION, Satire

Evidence Kim Kardashian Is Not A Hobbit

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As long time readers of this blog will know, we here at Walnut Dust (me, the dog, and the handful of you who are frequent readers) are not fans of Kim Kardashian. However, in a recent episode of South Park, a grave injustice was carried out against Ms. Kardashian which we, as supporters of Alters rights, cannot abide by.

Kim Kardashian is not a Hobbit, she is a Dwarf, and this mislabeling is simply racist.

The markers for being a Dwarf are fairly prevalent, the description given that she was shorter, stubbier, and more pear-shaped than she appeared to be in Photoshopped images was quite correct. But the distinct differences between Dwarves and Hobbits are enough that this label is an unfair assessment of both races which shall not pass. In an effort to set the record straight, I will now list the most profound reasons that Kim Kardashian could not be a Hobbit. Continue reading Evidence Kim Kardashian Is Not A Hobbit →

Agent of Argyre, Alterpedia, FICTION

Alterpedia: Dwarves

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In the Alters’ World (and the series of books found here), creatures of legend reveal themselves to the world. Born through genetic abnormalities, defects and mutations, the Alters have lived for centuries as outcasts of human society, hiding their true nature from the world while colorful stories have been written by many to describe what they’ve seen. How are these creatures different from what was described in the stories? What relationship do they have with humanity? Every entry of the Alterpedia will delve into a new creature from around the world. This week we cover:

Dwarves

Short, angry and hairy: Dwarves are the Norse version of Chibification, with all of the personality quirks of the Viking horde at a quarter of the terror.

Like cute little mascots they’ve represented hairy axe-wielding maniacs from the North for centuries. Given credit for fine craftsmanship and excellent skill in battle, besides from this the Dwarves are, today, primarily known for being the butt of many jokes and having a striking resemblance to certain team mascots.

So what do we really know about them?

Continue reading Alterpedia: Dwarves →

Agent of Argyre, Alterpedia, FICTION

Alterpedia: Elves

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In the Alters’ World (and the series of books found here), creatures of legend reveal themselves to the world. Born through genetic abnormalities, defects and mutations, the Alters have lived for centuries as outcasts of human society, hiding their true nature from the world while colorful stories have been written by many to describe what they’ve seen. How are these creatures different from what was described in the stories? What relationship do they have with humanity? Every entry of the Alterpedia will delve into a new creature from around the world. This week we cover:

Elves

The woodland spirits of magic and mystery that have been depicted many ways over the years and rarely in a stable fashion. They’ve been everything from mischievous spirits to detached angelic beings. They’ve become the subjects of folklore, legend and movies adapted from books that didn’t really feature much of them.

So which is the true depiction? How do you separate the different depictions and sort them out? How far off was Tolkien? Let’s find out.

Continue reading Alterpedia: Elves →

Agent of Argyre, Alterpedia, FICTION

Alterpedia: Ghosts (part 2)

In the Alters’ World (and the series of books found here), creatures of legend reveal themselves to the world. Born through genetic abnormalities, defects and mutations, the Alters have lived for centuries as outcasts of human society, hiding their true nature from the world while colorful stories have been written by many to describe what they’ve seen. How are these creatures different from what was described in the stories? What relationship do they have with humanity? Every entry of the Alterpedia will delve into a new creature from around the world. This week, to continue from last week we’re covering:

Ghosts

As the days of the dead come to an end and the veil between the living and the dead supposedly strengthens once again, the question still goes unanswered: Just what did you feel moving in the night as the ghostly apparition floated out of the corner of your eye?

We all know the dangerous one is Christina Ricci

With the revelation that many other creatures of the night have been real entities it has become harder to deny that the possibility of ghosts may be entirely accurate. But the other creatures are flesh and blood it would be easy to wonder just how these things could possibly exist in a rational world.

So do they really?

Continue reading Alterpedia: Ghosts (part 2) →

Agent of Argyre, Alterpedia, FICTION

Alterpedia: Ghosts (part 1)

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In the Alters’ World (and the series of books found here), creatures of legend reveal themselves to the world. Born through genetic abnormalities, defects and mutations, the Alters have lived for centuries as outcasts of human society, hiding their true nature from the world while colorful stories have been written by many to describe what they’ve seen. How are these creatures different from what was described in the stories? What relationship do they have with humanity? Every entry of the Alterpedia will delve into a new creature from around the world. This week we cover:

Ghosts

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The days of the dead have come again. Every year, different cultures in the world recognize festivals and holidays devoted to the dearly departed. These celebrations often involve colorful costumes, feasting on sweets and celebrating into the late night hours. Though there’s always a solemn respect under it all because a question has always loomed and weighed heavily on the hearts and minds of the people celebrating.
We all know that spirits are supposed to carry on and leave the mortal plane. But it’s undeniable that people have seen something lurking in the dark corners of rooms and floating weightlessly through hallways and outside windows. You hear things move and shift in the night or the faint whispers of someone you can’t quite find. A chill runs through you to the bone as you swear that you feel something entering the room with you while your back is turned.
Are they still with us?

Continue reading Alterpedia: Ghosts (part 1) →

Agent of Argyre, FICTION, Satire

5 Tips For Driving In The Modern Day

You live to drive. In fact, you have a desperate need to drive. Some even say that if you stop driving that someone is going to immediately die.

But with the number of vehicles on the road growing everyday and the population continually on the rise it’s only a matter of time before you get pushed into a situation where your knowledge of driving etiquette will be tested. Though the driver’s test will fill you in on quite a bit of it, a lot of videos (especially out of Russia) have told us that people in general ignore the material covered in the test almost immediately after leaving the building. This leaves most people having learned the rules of the road via media, leaving them with choices such as Fast and the Furious:

Or The Great Race:

Clearly, neither of these are accurate source material for the road. And, on the chance you may think they are, it’s probably a good idea for us to brush up.

Continue reading 5 Tips For Driving In The Modern Day →

Agent of Argyre, Alterpedia, FICTION

Alterpedia: Dullahan

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In the Alters’ World (and the series of books found here), creatures of legend reveal themselves to the world. Born through genetic abnormalities, defects and mutations, the Alters have lived for centuries as outcasts of human society, hiding their true nature from the world while colorful stories have been written by many to describe what they’ve seen. How are these creatures different from what was described in the stories? What relationship do they have with humanity? Every entry of the Alterpedia will delve into a new creature from around the world. This week we cover:

Dullahan

A haunting figure, the headless horseman roams the countryside hunting while typically carrying their own severed head under their arm. Though originally an Irish myth, an unseelie fairy, the Dullahan has grown to be more commonly associated with the Headless Horseman of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Because of this, the Dullahan sits in a strange place in folklore as both being incredibly well known and yet have very few people recognize its name.

With the rise of shows such as Sleepy Hollow, the figure of the Headless Horseman has come back to the cultural mind again. This raises a question: Does this dark rider truly exist, or is it just a folktale used to scare people into staying off the late night roads?

Continue reading Alterpedia: Dullahan →

Agent of Argyre, FICTION, Satire

Five Easy Steps To Avoid Becoming An Evil Prick

It’s a brand new millennium and you’re at the start of the journey we call life. You’re vital, unattached, vibrant and ready to take on the world or at least find your place in it. You’re the strongest you’ll ever be and there’s nothing in this world that can stop you.

But there’s a lot going on in the world and society has become so interconnected that it’s easy to get led astray. Sometimes this means that you’re going to be tempted to do things that would be considered “unclean”, “unwise” or just down-right “evil”.

This is perfectly okay, everyone experiences it. But in your case, with the way you are, it could be a little unfortunate if you happened to lose your shit and go wild. There’s historical record of what happens when people with your sort of advantages start to lose perspective.

So as a helpful piece of advice, here are some steps to save your sanity in these trying times.

Continue reading Five Easy Steps To Avoid Becoming An Evil Prick →